My 3-Step Plan to Turn an Online Flirtation into Action

Hey readers! I’m handing over the keys to my column to my friend, dating expert Devyn Simone. Stay tuned for new dating advice from her each week!

So you’ve met a cutie online. Well… You’ve swiped right, messaged, sent a few emojis—but you haven’t actually met. Flirting is fine, but if you message for more than a few weeks without plans to meet, you may be in a Flirtationship. A flirtationship can be fun, but it’s not going anywhere. So if you’re serious about wanting a relationship, follow my 3-step plan to turning that online flirtation into action.

MORE: 7 Signs He's Relationship-Worthy

How to turn an online flirtation into a date
  • 1. Limit Your Availability
  • Imagine if someone called you one day to say a single sentence, then hung up. Then they called you the next day with a sentence, and hung up again. You’d think they were crazy! So don’t let someone do that to you with messaging. Once you’ve had one or two full conversations online, tell your prospect that you’ve enjoyed meeting him and would like to get to know him better, but you don’t access your profile often, so the phone is the best way to reach you. Then sign off and wait for a call.
  • 2. Talk on the Phone
  • I know that these days, many people would rather be bitten by a tarantula than talk on the phone. But it’s 100% necessary, and here’s why: When someone speaks to you on the phone, your conscious mind is keeping up with the conversation, but your unconscious mind is analyzing his tone, his way of speaking and a host of other clues to figure out if you’ve got chemistry. I can’t tell you how many times I saved myself from a terrible date by having a phone call beforehand! You don’t have to feel sparks—you just shouldn’t feel like you’re ready to run. Plus, he needs to know that you have standards: You are not going to go out with someone who can’t take the time to call you first. Respect and effort are key.
  • 3. Do Not Revert!
  • The natural progression is for a real date to follow that phone call. But if you go back to messaging, you risk getting stuck back in that flirtationship. Make it clear once you’ve spoken that you’re available on the phone or in person—that’s it. If a guy is interested, he’ll choose being with you every time. And give yourself a timeline (I won’t say “ultimatum”) to meet up. If you can’t find a single hour to grab a coffee in, say, the next two weeks, you’re just not prioritizing each other—and I hate to say it, but you’re doomed from the start! Let go and move on.

Flirtationships are great. They’re fun, full of possibility and can be a nice distraction from writing that memo. But if you’re serious about starting a relationship, you’ve got to get offline and start connecting in person. You've got this!

MORE: 5 Things You Should Never Do on a First Date

Make a Date

You know what's awesome? When you're super-excited to meet someone and she turns out to be just as smart and sweet and chic as you hoped she'd be. That's Danai Gurira, whom you might know as Michonne on The Walking Dead! Tune into @abcthechew tomorrow to see us have some fun in the kitchen! #twd #thechew #fanboy

around the web